Many times when we are busy living life things are going by our windshield so quickly we can’t see anything much less God’s hand in it all. I have found that taking time to look at life from the rear-view mirror can make all the difference in the world.
By seeing things from this perspective we can grow in our faith and learn more about God’s character than any other time in our lives. There are many times when things have been clearer to me through the rear-view mirror.
This post will focus on the transition of life when I had to let my mom go.
When I was 16, my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. Mom lived 12 years at home with her loving husband and my amazing dad. Dad always encouraged me to live my life even though they were stuck in this terrible season of their life. So I graduated from college, married and even moved out of state for a while.
By the time it was time to let go of mom my (now ex) husband and I had moved back to my hometown and even lived with my parents for a while. My husband was suffering from PTSD and was not doing well.
He had spent 9 months not being able to work. In fact he had not left our apartment for the last 3 months.
Needless to say experiencing God’s love and grace was not easy day in and day out. Then one day mid-August I came home from work and he had gotten up that day and had gone and found a job.
I was so thankful and really believed that things were on their way to getting better. About 6 weeks later things changed but it was not for the better. It was the beginning of the end of my mom’s life.
My mom passed after having a psychotic break. She seemed to have gotten stuck in a hallucination. She lived in a state of a repeated cycle for 6 weeks.
As I experienced this time in my life from the windshield I saw pain, suffering, and an amazing desire to fight to not let her go.
Letting go of those we love is a difficult thing to do. My mom’s inability to experience peace during this time made letting go as easy I can imagine it ever could be. I spent many hours praying for both my mom and my dad, not to mention for myself.
The view from the rear-view mirror allows me to see God’s hand of provision in everyday during that period.
He knew that I would not be able to juggle both the responsibility of my husband’s health and the end of my sweet mom’s life.
I always had faith that He was there but looking back it has strengthened my faith in His provision.
Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. Lamentations 3:23 (New Living Translation)